My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
