So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
