worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
