where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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