Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
