mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
