Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize