dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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