Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
