oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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