Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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