found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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