I can't breathe out the right side of my face
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
