elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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