Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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