i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
