Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
