Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
