He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
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girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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