someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We need a shit load of segways right now
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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