Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
