I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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