I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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