There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
