Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
