wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
