toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
