Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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