I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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