dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
is that a dick in a sweater?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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