Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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