addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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