she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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