I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
