ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
