Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
