That's when you crack a 10am beer
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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