I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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