No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
