my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
