I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
