he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
