The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sorry my hands just texted you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
