Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
