I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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