I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
