were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
