i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
