that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
