You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she smelled like a LAN party
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
