Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
