Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
