i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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