just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
