I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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