So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
