the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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