it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
