I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
