guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
