And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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