You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
