Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
