Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize