I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
